Into Your Deep Brian

January 29, 2009 at 4:19 pm (Uncategorized) ()

Bai Ling and Mickey Rourke are two celebrities of whom I very rarely think. Apparently they got it on after the SAG awards. Again, this is not something I would normally think about, much less post about.

However, Bai Ling’s take on the assignation really demands an audience.

What can it mean? Comp lit majors, help a sister out!

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A Demon, Squeamish, or Geographically-Challenged?

January 27, 2009 at 1:05 pm (Uncategorized)

A prospective student called yesterday for directions to Nearby Women’s College from New Jersey, but she didn’t want to take a bridge or a tunnel.  She was very disappointed when I told her a water crossing was unavoidable.

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Goodbye, Elizabeth!

January 27, 2009 at 11:28 am (Uncategorized)

Accismus has shut its doors and Elizabeth, its author, has removed herself from the networking sites. 

Well, it’s not like I enjoyed reading that blog, anyway!

Just kidding.  I’ll miss reading her.  I hope all is well.

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Basic Math

January 26, 2009 at 2:26 pm (Uncategorized)

Yes, Fug Girls, yes!

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Unwatchable

January 26, 2009 at 11:43 am (Entertainment)

So, The Last Templar makes The Librarian look like Lord of the Rings. We gave it seven minutes before we switched to the Travel Channel and watched some stocky fellow try to eat 12 pounds of cheeseburger and fries.

Now I have to wonder, are the miniseries of my youth just as awful? Have my memories of them been clouded by nostalgia and the excitement of getting to stay up late (my bedtime was 9 pm until I was about 14 years old)? Would I cringe to see Marco Polo, Shogun, The Last Days of Pompeii, The Wall, North and South, or even V again?

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Going Back to Cali, to Cali, to Cali

January 20, 2009 at 8:15 pm (Entertainment)

That’s right.  SuperFudge and I are going back to SF next month because of this. As participants, we’ve been invited to a reception where we’ll get a piece of the exhibit to display in our own homes. Scroll through the portraits here and see if you recognize two round-faced New Yorkers.

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The Many Facets of Love

January 14, 2009 at 1:45 pm (Uncategorized)

If you weren’t convinced that T Rex is me, click here.

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The Dangers of Buffets

January 13, 2009 at 3:17 pm (Uncategorized)

It’s funny.  My brother laughed.*

*This is an homage to Ashy’s and my friend, Allison.  I have no idea what this has to do with buffets.  This “entry” has been sitting in my drafts folder since September 23, 2008. 

Where do YOU think I was going with this?

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Please, Let Me, Let Me, Get What I Want, This Time

January 13, 2009 at 10:18 am (The Albatross, Work)

Just got off the phone with the chair of sociology as Sans Souci College.  She likes my resume.  Six faculty members retired over the past 2 years and she is alone in the department.  She wants an urbanist who studies education and ethnicity to help take the dept. in the direction she envisions.

I could be that urbanist.

I was hoping to adjunct there, but there isn’t anything available this semester.  She seems so hot for me I think she might bump someone to get me in there.  She’s even offered to have me team-teach some of her courses.

This may be it.  Now I suppose it’s high time I finish that darned dissertation.

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I, Dilbert

January 8, 2009 at 12:15 am (Work)

This semester my department has reintroduced online registration and payment for the courses that are open to the public.    The college uses an online service to process the payments, and I am one of about 6 staff at the college who have access to this service.  I discovered that the ledger form for reporting credit card revenue had been revised in my absence.  So, just before the winter break, I sent the the head of the Financial office a two-sentence email and asked him to send me a new copy of the form.

Twenty minutes later he called me on the phone.

“I got your email.  So, do you have access to the online payment system?”

“Yes, I’ve had access to the system for 2 years now.”

“So, you can logon to the system and see the transactions?”

“Yes, I can logon to the system and see the transactions.”

“Well, let me explain to you how it works.  We get a statement every month of the money we earn through credit card sales, and we need to break it down by department.  So, you need to fill out a ledger form every day and send it to me.”

“Yes, I know.  I’ve been doing that for the past year and a half.  I understand the form has changed, and I’d like you to send me a new form for our account.”

“But you didn’t do this last semester.”

“No, because I was on medical leave and the director decided not to do online payments.”

“So, last semester you just got checks, right?  And you sent those checks to the bursar’s office?”

“Yes, but this semester we’re doing both, and I would like a copy of the new form for the account.”

“So, you’re saying that you have access to the online payment system?  You can logon and see the daily transactions?  And you can tell which ones are yours?  How do people sign up for the courses?”

“Students create a profile, put the course in their virtual shopping cart, and pay with their credit card.”

“And you get an email letting you know when a sale has gone through?”

“Yes.”

“But you didn’t do this last year?”

“No, last semester the director didn’t want to do online payments.  But I am back from medical leave now and we’re using the online module again.”

“So, the way it works is that we get a report of all the revenue and it’s very important that we figure out how to break it down.  You need to fill out a ledger form for every day.”

“Yes, I understand.”

“You haven’t had any transactions yet, have you?”

“Yes, we have.  We opened registration last week, and I want to get started on the ledger forms.”

“You have to fill one out every day.  Well, the month isn’t over yet; so you have some leeway.  But it’s important that we get those forms every day.”

“Yes, I understand.”

“So, what you’ll do is you’ll logon to the payment website and get a report for the day’s transactions and then fill out a daily ledger report for me.”

“Yes, I understand.  Someone told me the form had changed, and I need a copy of the new form.

“Okay, I’ll get the form out to you later this afternoon.”

I banged my head on the desk for a few hours after that, and resolved never to contact him again if I needed anything from the Financial office.

The first day back from vacation, I receive an email from the second-in-command at the Financial office:

“Dear Quiconque,

The form D____ sent you is incorrect.  Please use the attached form instead.”

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