October 27, 2008 at 8:56 am (Dating)

I had a date with a man last Thursday.  It went well.  He was good-looking (resembles Courtney Vance), good smelling, polite, interesting, and…he paid for dinner, which is very rare among my first dates.   We even enjoyed a lovely kiss at the close of the date. 

On Friday and Saturday we discussed the possibility of seeing each other again over the weekend.  Sunday seemed like the best day, and in between flirty texts, he said he would call me Sunday afternoon to settle on a time and place. 

Here is a transcript of Sunday afternoon’s texts:

Him: Hi

Me: What’s up?

Him: Nothing’s changed.

Me: What does that mean?

Him: Nothing

Me: I’m sorry, but you’re being a little cryptic.  When you say, “nothing’s changed” do you mean you still don’t know whether you’re free this evening or are you talking about something else?

Him (20 minutes later): I don’t appreciate being called cryptic.*

Me: I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to offend you.  I guess you’re busy.  I’ll talk to you later.

Him: For a smart lady, you make a lot of assumptions.

Me: Help me understand, then.

Him (20 minutes later): There’s nothing to help you with.  I told you I’d call you this afternoon about going out this evening.  That has not changed.  Your comments and assumptions are inappropriate.

All right then!  No need for me to answer that text message, or any more from that man!  (And don’t get me started on the ridiculousness of a 45-year-old man conducting conversations via text).  As Ichi commented, “I’m sorry he showed his ass so quickly, but better you learn that about him now than later.”

*La Belle Helene posits, “He doesn’t understand the word ‘cryptic.’ He thought you were calling him the Crypt-Keeper.”



  1. yoko said,

    WTF. He sounded so promising, too.

  2. Ten Feet of Steel said,


    I’m with La Belle Helene. I think he thinks “cryptic” means what it doesn’t. I also agree with Ichi–weird the ways in which people reveal whether they are tools, but it’s always good to know early.

  3. zantimisfit said,

    I guess you shouldn’t use big words like “cryptic.” Also I was going to say something about texting, IMs and emails and how they lend themselves to misunderstandings so often and how it’s so different than when people used to write letters and blah blah blah.

  4. Quiconque said,

    Zanti, yes, I agree. And at dinner, he and I spoke at length about the misunderstandings that can arise from emails and texting. So, why he acted like such an ass on Sunday is a mystery, much as he might not appreciate being called an ass or mysterious.

  5. Mama Ass said,

    Sounds like he might benefit from not texting so much since he is both aware of and easily makes those misunderstandings.

  6. La Belle Helene said,

    Basie gave some thoughts from the male perspective: Basie thinks that the guy thought, by calling him cryptic, you meant/assumed he was being shady and hiding something, rather than being vague and unclear.

  7. ashyknees said,

    Oh Lardy!

    Did he initiate this round of texting? Who goes off on someone for asking “what’s up?”

    It sounds as if this guy was still playing out a fight he’d had with someone else (possibly himself).


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