My Chat with a Bot

August 20, 2008 at 9:51 am (Dating)

Two days ago I participated in a chat with a “man” I met on an ethnic niche dating site.  As usual, the chat was clunky and unstimulating, which I had at first attributed to his lack of English proficiency.  He asked me a series of questions, which I quickly figured out were culled from Eharmony: “What qualities do you look for in a potential mate?” and “Discuss your spirituality.”  His questions never built upon my replies, even though I left them open-ended so as to encourage further dialogue.  When he revealed that his favorite pasttime is to read the bible and that he enjoys reading romance novels, I knew the time had come to end the chat.  Clearly, there was no there there.

The next day, I received this note from him:

How is your day going..i Just thought I’d write you a short note to tell you how much I enjoyed meeting you.  I can’t recall when I had a more pleasant time. Everything felt so natural, and you were very easy to talk to. It’s hard for me to identify what it is about you that attracts me so. I suppose it might be the combination of your great sense of humor, your charming personality and your good-looks. Whatever it is, I can sense its presence. You could call it chemistry, or better yet, the possibility that we are on the same wavelength.  I really hope that our is gonna be so sweet because I felt very special when I was chatting with you. I truly want to give our friendship a chance to grow. Well, I guess I’ve said enough for the time being, have a wonderful evening and, hopefully, I’ll talk to you again real soon. If you get a chance, write me and tell me your thoughts.  Until I hear from you, take care of yourself.

As Joe Dirt would say, “Whuuut?!”  So, I wrote him and told him my thoughts, which were pretty much, “Did we participate in the same chat?  Because I felt no chemistry, and we have nothing in common.”  Good day to you sir, and farewell!

This morning I did a search on some of the phrases in his letter and got a hit on a dating scam site.


  1. GunMonkey said,

    Wait? The dude went to a site that has pre-fab dating e-mails? Love Xpress (when you’re just too busy to, you know, use your own words). That’s just…wow…so many negative adverbs to choose from…

    Though it’s too bad you didn’t at least wait until: “You are my Swallow from Capistrano – my precious butterfly, and I will cherish you and love you forever.”

  2. Quiconque said,

    [GunMonkey], from the moment we met, I knew that our friendship would develop into something lasting and precious, just as I am sure that the caterpiller will one day become a (beautiful/handsome) butterfly.

  3. GunMonkey said,

    But not your Swallow from Capistrano? I feel vaguely dissed.

  4. Ten Feet of Steel said,

    Scammers are always looking for God-fearing victims.

  5. GunMonkey said,

    I’m not sure he was a scammer. He probably used the Love Xpress templates due to his lack of proficiency with English.

    TenFeet just isn’t a romantic. If that Swallows from Capistrano line doesn’t work on you, your heart’s just gotta be made of stone.

  6. ashyknees said,

    Swallows. Heh heh.

  7. Quiconque said,

    I went back to the site and his picture was gone. I reported him to the dating site police and they deleted his profile. I doubt they would’ve done so just based on my suspicions.

  8. GunMonkey said,

    Guess someone else gets to be his precious butterfly. Lucky her.

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