Domestic Disturbance

May 8, 2008 at 11:04 pm (new york)

Ashyknees came to visit me this afternoon. We had a wonderful time eating Chinese food, talking about men, and researching intimate toys online.

Shortly after Ashy left, the loud crazy neighbors who always scream at each other across the hall got into something severe enough to warrant a visit from the friendly neighborhood police. I was lying in bed watching Eastern Promises on the computer and Ugly Betty on the tv (I am an excellent multitasker) when I heard the male neighbor ask petulantly, “Then why am I being arrested?” I paused the dvd and muted the tv so I could eavesdrop on what was going on.

I heard a female officer ask the man if he’d taken his medication that morning, to which he replied yes. The man went on to explain that he’d smacked his girlfriend in the face two days ago, but under no circumstances had he punched her, and he was not responsible for the current injuries to her face.

A male officer informed the man that he did not have the right to smack his girlfriend, and that she was not a child for him to discipline. The man then launched into a long and meandering story about how he was hit by a Metro North train 5 years ago while saving his 6 year old grandson. (Have you ever seen a Metro North train roll into the station? A hit from one of those is no love tap. I would not have thought anyone could survive that.) The officer was indulgent, and offered the man sympathy along the lines of, “Oh, that’s too bad, crazy man, but I don’t quite see what that has to do with today’s events, back to which I would eagerly like to get.”

I then heard my neighbor say standard abuser shit like, “I pay all the bills,” and “She never listens to me.”

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to hear whether the police carted him away, because my other neighbors came out to the hallway with their adorably noisy beagle/spaniel puppy, Peanut Butter. I’ll have to keep an ear out for more news.

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