For Your Listening Pleasure

May 31, 2008 at 9:17 pm (Entertainment)

Ichi sent me this link earlier today.  “Cousin Mosquito #2” is my favorite so far, but “I Whipped Batman’s Ass” is fun to say.


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May 31, 2008 at 9:12 pm (Uncategorized)

I am out of convenience foods.  Anything left in my kitchen requires cooking.  And, although I generally like to cook, I don’t much enjoy cooking on one foot.

Last week my mother gave me a bag of frozen yucca, like I would know what to do with it.  “Yucca!” I said when she presented the bag to me.  “Cassava,” she corrected me.  Yes, I know it’s both.   My mother often fries it, or grates it and makes a sweet pone with coconut out of it.  But I decided to try something different (for me, at least).

I’m not a big fan of measuring things out unless I’m baking.  So, if you want to do as I did:  Halve the yucca and cut it into 2-3 inch chunks.  Boil it with salt for 20 minutes.  In another pan, briefly saute half a headsworth of minced garlic, 1/2 a chopped onion, (or, in my case, take out some frozen pre-chopped onion), 1/4 c olive oil, 1/4 c lemon juice and salt.   When the yucca’s boiled, drain the water (if you have any left.  I didn’t) and pour the sauce over it.  Mash the hell out of it with a wooden spoon.  I suppose it feeds a family of four, but I’m eating it all tonight.

Oh, and in the center of each yucca piece there will be a hard fibrous string.  Don’t eat that.  It’s easier to remove once the yucca is cooked.

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Lack of Sexy Date Explained, Perhaps

May 30, 2008 at 2:42 am (Dating)

I took a personality test on a free dating site (not OkCupid).  Here’s what I learned about myself:

ENTJ: “Life’s natural leaders”: Have right mixture of basic leadership qualities: enthusiasm, vision, objectivity and accountability. Most often these characteristics are attributed to males. Women need to balance their natural femininity with their natural leadership skills. All ENTJs are robust, direct and hearty strategists who can see possibilities in almost everything and can act upon these possibilities instantly. ENTJ’s natural partner is the INTP, or the ISTP. AN ENTJ’s dominant function of Extraverted Thinking is best-matched with a personality type that is dominanted by Introverted Thinking. The ENTJ/INTP match is ideal, because it also shares the common Intuitive way of looking at the world, but the ENTJ/ISTP match is also very good. [Italics mine.]

Clearly, my natural femininity is not shining through all my otherwise wonderful leadership qualities.  Potential suitors must think I’m a man!  Also, what the hell does “dominanted” mean? 

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More Neighbor News

May 29, 2008 at 10:08 pm (Uncategorized)

On the phone in the kitchen with TragicCrusade tonight, I heard some ruckus in the hallway outside my door.  What was going on?  Was it the Amex Magnet man?  Was it the woman who knocked on my door an hour ago asking if I received her tax refund check in error?  Was it the crazy neighbor down the hall asking me to call her lost cell phone over and over so that she could find it?

Nope.  The woman across the hall is in labor.   The EMTs just took her away.

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May 29, 2008 at 2:07 pm (Dating, der Fuß, Work)

Three important things were supposed to happen this week: Sexy date on Monday, job interview on Tuesday, doctor’s visit on Thursday. 

Alas, there was no sexy date on Monday.  Ichi, my latest suitor, had to stay home and take care of things.  So, I spent the weekend at home, alone, while friends and family called me and told me all about the many burgers they ate.  I have not eaten a cheeseburger since the drive home from Boston the day after the accident.  Those of you who know me well can imagine what torture it was for me to hear tales of faraway burgers.  I consoled myself with lime-flavored tortilla chips and nacho cheese. Cold comfort. (To forestall any hateration, I must emphasize that Ichi did call me several times over the weekend, and we talk on the phone for a couple hours every day.  He’s very nice).  I will probably not have a sexy date for a long time.  Ichi’s job obligations will end just when I need to return to work.

The job interview went very well.  I have no idea whether I will get the job.  But I didn’t say anything I didn’t want to say and I didn’t leave out anything I wanted to say.  I did impress them on a few points.  I hope to hear from them soon.  (I also found out that they use the same health insurance as my current job; so I wouldn’t have to switch doctors if I get hired).  I really do hope I get the job, because it seems like I can be creative and grow professionally in that position, as opposed to the dead-end job I have now.   And the pay is better.

My foot emerged from its cast this morning and saw its shadow, which means at least 2 more weeks of non-walking.  This, of course, means at least one week of crawling up and down the stairs in my apartment building.  The good news is that I can finally wash the entire foot.  (Once I find the adapter for my camera, hideous pictures will be emailed to all who wish them.  I will not post them here, for the sake of small children, and for my own desire to remain remotely attractive to certain people with whom I would like some sexy dates).  I still have to shower in the chair, and, of course, I can’t put any weight on my foot. 

Physical therapy starts next week.  I’m glad I have so many prescription painkillers left.  I predict it will hurt somewhat. 

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Tragic, Indeed

May 21, 2008 at 7:23 pm (Dating)

In response to my last post, Tragic Crusade said to me, “What do you mean you need a sexy date?  You’re going to have one soon!  It’s not fair.  You’re trying to get sympathy from your readers, when all along you have a sexy date planned for Monday.  I haven’t had a sexy date in, oh, at least a year.”

I suppose that year includes the 4 months we were dating.

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Another Update

May 21, 2008 at 3:36 pm (Uncategorized)

What is going on with me?  Well, as you can expect, very little, since I don’t leave the house much.

My foot is getting better.  I can sense it.  Today it felt pretty much like a normal foot.  I’m still forbidden to put any weight on it, and I am not pressing my luck on that.  I do hope that my doctor will tell me next week that things have progressed better than expected and I can start walking again.    Renovations of my elevator start the second week of June, and either I start crawling up the stairs on my hands and knees or I become homebound for sure.

The Assistant, aka my good student worker, stopped by for a visit yesterday.  She’s graduating this week.   We looked at pictures of her new house (yes, my student worker bought a house!) and ate many donuts and cherries.  It was a lovely afternoon.

I got my hairscut yesterday, too.  As I explained to my new friend (who has yet to be named here.  Help me think of one!), I was beginning to look like Shirley from What’s Happening.  He cautioned me against putting that image in his head.  But really, the Beethoven-like tufts above my ears had to go.  So, I went back to Supercuts where a Russian woman gave me another Clancy. I don’t know why the Russian hairdressers always want to cut all my hairs off.

On the professional front, the folks with whom I have a job interview next week sent me a packet of materials to study. I will be grilled in front of a search committee. I type “search committee” and think “firing squad.” (I suppose the pun would be “hiring squad?”)

Good lord, my life is dull. I need to go on a sexy date or something.

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Always Gotta Keep a Sista Down!

May 15, 2008 at 5:31 pm (anthropology)

Someone from an anthropological society to which I belong has been emailing me all week, trying to ask me if I’d like to chair a panel at the Big Important Meeting this fall.  Unfortunately, the mail server at Nearby Women’s College is in cahoots with my evil bosses in undermining my professional development.  I didn’t get any of the emails, and the chair passed on to someone else.    

If I don’t become Anthropology Empress now I know who to blame.

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The Dark Side

May 15, 2008 at 12:49 pm (der Fuß)

The fiberglass cast came off today and was replaced by this lovely brace:

My right foot looks like Darth Vader.  It’s kind of awesome.  Like I’m slowly becoming a dark overlord from the feet up.

I saw my raw foot for the first time since the accident.  Yeesh.  It’s hideous!  It’s about 14 colors, ranging in reddish yellow (from the disinfectant goo) to a greenish brown (my natural undertone) to a grey-purple (on the site of the ligament damage) to black (a terrible bruise on my heel and the scabs under the stitches).  My calf was as useless as a bag of water suspended on a stick.  But what it lacks in muscle tone it more than makes up in hair.  My right leg: Sith Lord on the outside, Yeti on the inside.

The nurse pulled out my stitches and the sensation crawled my blood.  In reality, it was no more painful than electrolysis, but I’d already identified my foot as especially vulnerable and tender.  So, each pull of the tweezer made me flinch and yelp.  YES, I am a big squeamish baby when it comes to pain.  When the doctor came back he had to lower the chair because I was feeling lightheaded.

The prognosis is good.  The foot is healing well.  It’s clearly stronger.  I can flex it, which I could not do at all before the surgery.  I still cannot walk on it for 4 more weeks, but I can take the cast off to sleep and to bathe, which makes me so very happy.  (It should also be a relief to a certain gentleman whose shin got seriously abraded by the old cast).

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He’s Baaack

May 13, 2008 at 7:57 pm (Uncategorized)

The guy with the Amex magnet came back and rang my doorbell tonight! I have no idea what’s going on, but I am not about to crutch across the room and open the door to strangers.

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