Thank You, Philadelphia!

March 24, 2008 at 3:59 pm (Uncategorized)

I have returned from my brief sojourn in the city of brotherly love.  First of all, I want to thank the blog folks, Ashyknees, Yoko, Lipby, PinkLibrarian, Papertrix, Mr. Snacks, WaterlilySage, Thumbrings, and a mysterious man named Michael, for showing me real Philly love at the Taproom.  I have to apologize for not being the most sprightly guest (although SuperFudge did hold her own amongst such rambunctious company) because I was laid low by a noxious virus.

I spent most of my vacation asleep in the hotel room.  The few times I did venture outside, I was assailed by the twin evils of chills and diarrhea.   I love Philly, but it’s not a place for weaklings.  Walking down South Street while trying to achieve temperature and bowel control was almost too much for me, and even the staff at Walgreens (where I bought meds and lotiony tissues) did not care about my suffering.  (Believe it or not, as awful as the clerks are at my local Rite Aid, someone will occasionally mutter, “Get well soon” if you are buying armfuls of medicine and you look like you’re dying–WHICH I WAS.)

My hotel had a sumptuous bed and lovely smelling toiletries, but very little else to recommend it.  We got back from our short cheesesteak quest (“I want to sample one of those steak sandwiches I keep hearing about,” said SuperFudge.  I was too sick to finish mine.  TOO SICK TO FINISH A SANDWICH!) to find our hotel room open.  Could it have been the maid?  Why would she open the door and then not clean the room or empty the garbage cans?  I called the front desk.  A worker assured me she would investigate and get back to me.

Here’s the result of her investigation: “Yes, ma’am?  I am sorry for the open door.  You see, that sometimes happens when the cleaning staff doesn’t shut the door properly.”

I was delirious at several points during this illness.  On Friday night I called SuperFudge because I was convinced that it was really Saturday morning, and I was feeling too sick and exhausted to drive.  After a long and surreal conversation, she helped me realize that it was 9:45 pm, not 9:45 am.  Saturday night, at the hotel, I scratched a 2-inch bloody gash in my leg in my sleep.  But, despite these and other problems, at no point during my trip, or even during my entire life, did I need someone to explain to me that an open door is what results when someone neglects to close the door properly.

The next night we received an odd phone call around 11 pm.  SuperFudge answered the phone, and a man asked for me, saying that he was responding to my internet ad.   Then he hung up.  After calling TragicCrusade to make sure that he wasn’t playing an unfunny prank on me, I called the front desk.

“Oh yes, I sent that call to you.  A gentleman called asking for Quiconque Cole and I told him that there wasn’t a Quiconque Cole at the hotel, but there was a Quiconque Jones.  So, I sent the call to your room.”

WHAT the Fuck?

Tuesday was the best day of the trip.  I felt strong enough to leave the hotel and drive over to University City where we had lunch with Ashyknees and saw her lovely office.  Then we spent the afternoon in the University Museum looking at artifacts and the awesome Akhenaton exhibit.   The staff at the museum was extremely kind and helpful.  I actually found myself getting a little nostalgic for my undergraduate days when I worked in the subbasement.

This weekend I’ll be back in Philly, back to the Museum, for a Penny Loafers concert.  I hope to be rid of the virus by then, because there is a cheesesteak with my name on it (both first AND last) somewhere in the city.



  1. Ten Feet of Steel said,

    Oh, the tragedy of the half-eaten sandwich! I’m sorry to hear your stomach got worse. I hope your return to Philly is more comfortable.

  2. salmon said,

    wow i’m super curious which hotel you stayed in … what bizarre & vaguely dangerous customer service.

  3. yoko said,

    Oh yes, you know you’re sick when you can’t finish a fine sandwich. I hope you’re feeling much better now. It was good to see you, however briefly.

  4. Mama Ass said,

    I’m glad you are improving. I’m sorry I did not get to see you.

  5. peth said,

    I’m so sorry you got sick during your trip down, and I’m sorry I missed you too….

  6. TragicCrusade said,

    Yes i was innocent of the unfunny hotel prank call??? But Now be wary because the NEXT TIME I may NOT be bwahahahah

    I too am very glad you are feeling better! @))>—>–>–

  7. ashyknees said,

    Thanks for the virus! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: