My Date, the Details

January 30, 2008 at 11:52 am (Dating)

Last night was my first foray into the world of dating since my break-up with TragicCrusade.

The Verdict: Nice, but no sparks.

Yes, I know, I know, it’s not about being swept away on a river of passion to the sounds of angels singing.  I did not expect that or go looking for that.  The date (the event) was pleasant and quiet–dinner at a restaurant near where I work followed by a short stroll during which we mocked the elaborate tchotchkes on display in the many specialty boutiques in the neighborhood.   The date (the man) was affable, funny, smart, kind, nerdy….all things that, on paper at least, make my heart hot.

Unfortunately, we are more than the sum of our parts (heh heh heh, I wrote “parts”), and my date’s positive qualities simply did not add up.  There some indicators that something was not quite right.  I tried very hard not to be shallow, but….

1) When he took off his coat, I noticed with pleasure that he was wearing a jacket and tie, which was a very nice touch, until I noticed that the side and pocket of his jacket were splattered with food stains.

2) One, and only one, of his shoes was so scuffed that it was greyish white, while the other was something closer to black. 

3) When I stood next to him, I caught the unmistakable odor of dirty hair, which is mysterious because he is bald.

As you can see, he’s scruffy.  I know, he’s a history professor.  They tend to be scruffy.  But this was a first date–THE chance to make a first impression.  The shoe I can forgive, because I never polish my shoes, either.  But the smell?  Smell is so central to attraction.  Even if one is slovenly in everyday life, scrub up a little for the first date!

Oh well.  I met an interesting person and had a nice dinner.  And each date with someone new gives me the opportunity to learn more about what I want and don’t want.  So, it was, after all, a positive experience.


  1. ashyknees said,

    Another dating notch on your belt. Nice.

    I was thinking that you should give this nutty professor another chance until I read about the smell issue. Was he just a little musty or was he funky? Perhaps the question is moot, because it’s impossible to ignore even a small stink. As someone once sang, “Good manners and bad breath will get you nowhere.”

    If someone doesn’t know enough to scrub himself before a date, he’s too much of a fixer-upper. Still, I feel sorry for the guy because, unless he has some qualms with America’s grooming habits or is really into water conservation, he probably has no idea how funky he is.

  2. Quiconque said,

    I think he also realized that I am not his cup of tea, either, since he gave no indication at the end of the date that he wanted to see me again.

  3. La Belle Helene said,

    There is scruffy and there is dirty. It would be one thing if the suit were wrinkled. It’s another that the suit was besmerched.

    I am glad that the date was pleasant, though. But he has too many fundamental issues, like cleanliness, to overcome.

  4. kt said,

    yeah. what they said. not so much with the mysterious rank odors.

  5. Ten Feet of Steel said,

    It is nice to not have a horrific date.

    Hygiene, however, is one of those things that is so fundamental because it involves your sense of smell, which bypasses all the higher-thinking parts of your brain and goes straight to the parts of the brain we share with fish and lizards. A prospective mate must meet your requirements for hygiene, or there is no hope.

    So don’t feel bad if you discount someone on the basis of hygiene. It is important.

  6. zantimisfit said,

    Thank you for the update(s). I enjoyed this one very much. About the dirty hair smell, I think sometimes the bald head might contribute to this smell. I think what you smell is head grease, not dirty hair. And some guys are just greasier than others.

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