TenFeet Has no Face

January 31, 2008 at 10:53 pm (Uncategorized)

This is a completely unretouched photo from the summer.  As you can see, TenFeet had very limited control of her face way before her new haircut.

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Words I Never Thought I’d Write

January 31, 2008 at 4:03 pm (Dating)

“Do not contact me if you are looking for a DOM/SUB relationship.”

Thank you, Internet Dating, for expanding my horizons.

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Hmmm

January 31, 2008 at 10:35 am (Uncategorized)

Apparently the Information Communication Ethics Committee in Seoul has had reason to visit my blog.  I blame TenFeet.  If only she were more 겸손한.

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Edible

January 30, 2008 at 11:53 am (Uncategorized)

My childhood friend has fathered the most adorable baby.  Check her out: http://www.seanohalloran.com/Ava.

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My Date, the Details

January 30, 2008 at 11:52 am (Dating)

Last night was my first foray into the world of dating since my break-up with TragicCrusade.

The Verdict: Nice, but no sparks.

Yes, I know, I know, it’s not about being swept away on a river of passion to the sounds of angels singing.  I did not expect that or go looking for that.  The date (the event) was pleasant and quiet–dinner at a restaurant near where I work followed by a short stroll during which we mocked the elaborate tchotchkes on display in the many specialty boutiques in the neighborhood.   The date (the man) was affable, funny, smart, kind, nerdy….all things that, on paper at least, make my heart hot.

Unfortunately, we are more than the sum of our parts (heh heh heh, I wrote “parts”), and my date’s positive qualities simply did not add up.  There some indicators that something was not quite right.  I tried very hard not to be shallow, but….

1) When he took off his coat, I noticed with pleasure that he was wearing a jacket and tie, which was a very nice touch, until I noticed that the side and pocket of his jacket were splattered with food stains.

2) One, and only one, of his shoes was so scuffed that it was greyish white, while the other was something closer to black. 

3) When I stood next to him, I caught the unmistakable odor of dirty hair, which is mysterious because he is bald.

As you can see, he’s scruffy.  I know, he’s a history professor.  They tend to be scruffy.  But this was a first date–THE chance to make a first impression.  The shoe I can forgive, because I never polish my shoes, either.  But the smell?  Smell is so central to attraction.  Even if one is slovenly in everyday life, scrub up a little for the first date!

Oh well.  I met an interesting person and had a nice dinner.  And each date with someone new gives me the opportunity to learn more about what I want and don’t want.  So, it was, after all, a positive experience.

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Eh

January 29, 2008 at 10:28 am (Dating)

What to write?  It’s been a while since I updated this thing.  But I feel like nothing is new, which is a lie.  More accurately, many things are new, but I am too tired and busy to write about them in my usually witty and engaging style.

1) I got a new haircut.  Seeing the back of my head in one of the wedding photos actually made me shriek out loud.  Growing out my hair these past few months was clearly a failed experiment.  Yes, I know that patience was one of my main lessons last year, but really, how long was I supposed to walk around with a curly trapezoid on my head?  I found myself considering headbands, which really meant that I had given up.  The hair was neither long nor short, and it made me look old and sloppy.   So, I went to Supercuts (because I am a cheapskate) and made the hair stylist work for every last penny of that $14.  Yes, I was picky and made her do stuff over, but when I got to my car and spied myself in the rear view mirror, I couldn’t help yelling, “Yes, yes, yes!”  My hair looks so good, I am in love with myself.

2) Speaking of love….I have a date tonight with a historian I met online.  This is our first date after only two emails and a phone conversation.  I am wearing a short skirt in the hope that historians like legs.

3) I started teaching again, this time in the evening at an extension center waaaay up north.  The highway there doesn’t have lights!  It was eerie to see nothing but blackness behind me as I drove home.  The students’ first papers are due next week.  I hope there will be some doozies worth sharing.

4) I think there’s a dead mouse behind one of my shelves.  I have not the emotional strength to deal with it.  I mean, I could move the shelf and make sure, but what would that serve?  Then I’d really know I had a dead mouse in my apartment, but I would not be strong enough to dispose of it, which would lead to a major FREAK OUT.  So, I’ll just live in a haze of ignorace and incense smoke until I can ask SuperFudge to rescue me later this week.

5) I used the phrase, “my brother-in-law” for the first time this week.  It was strange.

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Hothead

January 17, 2008 at 5:16 pm (Uncategorized)

This morning, when I exited my car, steam, actual steam, was rising from my coiff.

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Last Sunday and the Small Sister, Aouf!

January 17, 2008 at 1:27 pm (Family)

La Belle Helene is a married lady now!  I can hardly believe it!  Also unbelievable is the almost complete absence of family drama, goat mouth, or evil, neither Greater nor Lesser.

La Belle Helene was not a Bridezilla at all.  The booze was free-flowing.  The kids were adorable.  Everyone danced up a storm, especially Brother Ephraim (flashbacks to Basement Flashlight Disco Inferno!).  TenFeet and Cory hustled like the best big-haired Brooklyn hoofers from Saturday Night Fever.  It was AWESOME.

You should have been there, if only to see me in a big blue dress.

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You’re Not the Only Flame in Town

January 10, 2008 at 9:50 am (Uncategorized)

Someone tried to post that old chestnut, “Get a life,” in my comments. (I think it’s a Hyundai employee).  Flaming: it’s a rite of passage.  Strangers are leaving me hostile messages.  My little blog has grown up!

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From the Old Maid of Honor

January 9, 2008 at 11:11 am (Family)

For La Belle Helene: The Cavalcade of Bad Bridal Fashion.

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