Well, We Achieved the “Drunken” Part….

August 17, 2007 at 11:41 am (Uncategorized)

First of all, I want to thank everyone who came out to celebrate my birthday last night: La Belle Helene, SuperFudge, Count Basie, Tenfeet, the ConTessa, La Gentille, the Thin Man, my assistant (who has yet to get a moniker on this page), and her partner, Top Chef.  I had a wonderful time.  You all were so very nice and indulgent, buying me food and drink and listening to my silly stories, most of which many of you had heard several times before.  I also want to thank CandiPearl for being my first-ever drunk dial.  I know I was losing coherence toward the end of that conversation, and your gentle suggestion that I get some sleep was appreciated.

First stop, soul food on 140th Street.  Chicken and waffles and a mojito to start the night off.  Really tasty.  I had to teach the ConTessa how to pronounce “collard greens.”   Our waiter was a little slow (CPT?) but the food was worth it.  When the time came to pay, La Belle Helene insisted on taking care of the bill.  ConTessa now calls her the Tiny Tyrant. 

My goal of singing karaoke was thwarted, because the place messed up our reservations and told some of my guests that we had already left, which was a LIE.   When we got there, the staff scrambled around to accommodate our party, but I quickly discovered that the place had misrepresented itself in its website.  Online, it appears to be a hip and shiny place where pretty girls and boys bop along to Culture Club and Duran Duran.  In fact, the place is a glorified sports bar where middle-aged men do body shots off much younger women and sing John Cougar Mellencamp.  There was very little karaoke and much talking, bingo, and trivia contests.  The prizes were retarded, acc. to the Thin Man.  So, we left and headed downtown to our favorite local….

…Where we were treated like royalty.  The whisky and gin were flowing, the chocolate truffle cake was decadently rich, and my companions were the best in the world.  By the way, I looked fantastic, and was rocking the sex shoes (which I learned are a little difficult to walk in.  So, I was also rocking the dowdy flats as the evening wore on).

I was even chatted up in the street by an adorable queen!  La Gentille and I were in front of the bar enjoying a nicotine moment when a cute little boy walked by and shouted out to us, “Today is my birthday!  I’m 30 today!”  To which I replied, “Today is my birthday.  I am 37 today!”  We embraced, he showed me his birthday candle (dirty!), and we exchanged numbers.  He also handed me his phone so I could talk to his boyfriend.  And then, bless his heart, he said to me, “You look fabulous!  Your skin is lovely!”

So, despite our early disappointment, the night was amazing.  Now, I have to admit that I may have behaved inappropriately.  I don’t know if I should have circulated the picture of how awesome my ass looks when I wear the magic sex shoes.  My assistant has probably lost all respect for me.  But as the Outkast song says, “I don’t care.  It was my birthday, anyway!”


  1. ashyknees said,

    mmm Chicken, Waffle, and Mojito

    Can I see a picture of your ass in the sex shoes? I know I’ve seen this wonder in real life, but you were clothed at the time.

  2. Mama Ass said,

    Me too!

  3. The Assistant said,

    Think I thought of the new moniker. Top Chef and I really enjoyed reading the blog! Oh and by the way, I think that our business relationship is over after the way you handled yourself. I guess I’ll have to call HR.

  4. Dixie said,

    And happy belated birthday. It sounds like it was fun.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: