First Date No. 2

July 31, 2007 at 2:56 am (Dating)

Last night I had my second first date in this internet dating experiment.  I’d spoken with the man a few times while I was down in Florida.  The conversations went well, and we were both eager to meet.   So, we tentatively scheduled a coffee date for the evening after I returned from my trip.  Already I had some hope, because decisiveness is a characteristic I am beginning to admire more and more since I’d been dealing with interesting men who are unable to make the jump from cyber-courtship to face-to-face dating.

I was not without reservations.  Despite his claim of being in his 30s, the man seemed younger every time I spoke with him.  He also seemed not to get my humor; he had interpreted a few things I said in jest as calculated attacks.  I made it clear that if he couldn’t take teasing, we would never work out as a couple.  I also made it clear that if we did become a couple, I planned to have me some sex with him.

We had a relatively benign coffee date.  It had its awkward moments.  I inadvertantly insulted him by praising his small, strong hands.  About 2 hours into the date his phone rang and he said he had to go.  I called him on the rescue phone call and he was offended.  But when I asked him point-blank if I would ever see him again, he hedged, called me “funny,” and didn’t reply.

At that point, I left to use the bathroom, adding, as I walked away from the table, that now was his chance to run.  However, I couldn’t open the door to the bathroom, because the lock required a token from the cashier.  Once I obtained the token, I still couldn’t get the door to open; so I gave up.

I returned to the table, reapplied my lip gloss, and declared that it was time to go.  My date prides himself on being a gentleman.  He opened the door for me (although he did not give me enough room to actually pass through the door) and walked me to my car.

Once outside in the balmy summer weather, I realized how strong the air conditioning had been in the coffee shop.  My fingertips were icy.  I touched his forearm and said, “Feel how cold my fingers are!”

At which point, he replied, horrified, “You touched the bathroom door with that hand and you just touched my arm.”  And then he pulled a bottle of Purell out of his pocket.

I was incredulous.  “First of all, I didn’t use my left hand to open the door.  Second, it was the door, on the outside, the one people touch before they even get into the bathroom.  Besides, do you think the table you were sitting at for the past two hours is pristine?”

He didn’t put away the Purell, though.

I pressed on, “Are you a germophobe?  Do you think girls have cooties?  I guess holding hands is out of the question.”  (Meanwhile, I was really thinking, I guess you don’t go downtown, in which case, I have no use for you.)

He tried to shrug it off, but I was like a dog with a bone.  “Look, I can see you’re squirming.  Why don’t you just take a moment and sanitize yourself.  I even have some wipes in my bag that you can rub yourself down with.”

At this point he decided to put the Purell away and continued to walk me to my car.  Once in the garage I said, “I don’t know how we’re going to say good-bye since I cannot touch you.”  We air kissed and that was the end of the evening.

I doubt I’ll be hearing from him again, and that’s not a bad thing.  I’m 0 for 2.



  1. balladofyoko said,

    Hey– you’re back! I hope everyone and everything made it in one piece to Florida and back.

    I’m actually surprised that I never dated a germophobe– you’d think that would’ve come up at one point.

  2. La Belle Helene said,

    But how can a germophobe actually survive in NYC?

  3. Quiconque said,

    He doesn’t live in NYC.

  4. cds007 said,

    Did he have a picture on his profile? If he did, was it taken in something that looks suspiciously like a giant, plastic bubble?

  5. Quiconque said,

    That’s a good question. No, the pic on his profile was of him on a roller coaster. I should’ve asked him if he knew how many people puke all over those things daily.

  6. candipearl said,

    “Look, I can see you’re squirming. Why don’t you just take a moment and sanitize yourself. I even have some wipes in my bag that you can rub yourself down with.”

    that is going to give me so much pleasure, in the next few days…i would totally date you, as long as my husband could come along.

  7. Ten Feet of Steel said,


    OK, why am I just finding out about this now?
    There are few things that freak me out when it comes to hygiene. Aside from death and feces, I pretty much take this tainted world and all its bugs and critters in stride. I’m actually impatient wit…

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